My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
