my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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