no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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