I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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