you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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