I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
