don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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