She said her name was "party"
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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