Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
