So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
