so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
