YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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