"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
