Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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