this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
