She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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