i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
