I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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