smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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