Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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