Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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