It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
