Sry I called you an 8
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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