Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
