New invention idea: vibrating tampons
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
