apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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