Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
