I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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