she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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