Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
