she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
