The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize