8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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