She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You can't motorboat a personality
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
