God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
