does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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