i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize