i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
