There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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