On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
