You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
