I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
