also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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