Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
