I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
