i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
