My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How drunk are you?
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