If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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