i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
