I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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