The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
