There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
