i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
