it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
