You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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