yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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