god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You can't just leave with hair like that
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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