New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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