Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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