You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize