we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
