He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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